Welcome to the Gasoline Alley BLOG

July 2011

The Seabournes

Posted - 2011-07-31

Thanks to all the staff at Seabournes, Christchurch for making us so welcome on what I hope will be the first of many visits. Great gig, loads of fun. Best of luck Remo!

May 2011

Where's the smelly one gone?

Posted - 2011-05-05

If anyone was wondering why our gigs smell a little less fruity, its because the smelly potty panted pete has been seduced away by a slower paced blues kinda thing. You can find this blues kinda thing in HMV under "we who play blues smell of poo" Another place you can find this blues thing is in various pubs around the southern regions of hants and dorset, cavorting as "jam nights" sounds like a homo act if you ask me...........

January 2011

Wos been goin' on?

Posted - 2011-01-09

Well, the new website got launched, as some of you will have already discovered. New Years Eve went down a storm in Winchester. We got a last minute cancellation at O'Neill's last night (Sat 8th Jan). Didn't seem to be to busy when we arrived but boy once we started playing it was wall to wall! Great dancing, lots of giggles and jiggles. Woooooohoooooo. Pete's arse played a slightly less frequent role in the proceedings but what was missing in quantity was truly made up for in quality, eughhhhgghhghghg! Scotty was on form despite man flu (or cat aids as he referred to it), think the pill popping (paracetomol of course) and Red Bull swallowing helped no end. Lisa did a fine job on the camera and at long last we have some footage of the band in action. Check it out in the Media section. Next stop is the Wheatsheaf in New Milton. Looking forward to seeing the Christchurch gang again. Check the home page or the gigs page to find out when we are there.

November 2010

New website coming soon!

Posted - 2010-11-19

Hi all, quick note to let you know that there's gonna be a brand new website pretty soon. We're all very excited about it here at Gasoline Alley. There's a new members area too which you can gain access to when you register with the site. Over time there'll more and more stuff there exclusive to our members. Hope you like the new site - should be up and running in the next few days. We;re looking forward to a crackin' night at Bournemouth O'Niell's - hope to see you there.

July 2010

Pete's Birthday

Posted - 2010-07-22

Primeval pensioner Pete celebrated a big one in July. Fortunately, the Riverside band, booked at huge expense for Pete’s birthday was familiar with his bottom antics so they didn’t immediately evacuate the building when he let a huge one rip. Shock of the day though was Pete turning up with an attractive woman who he said was his girlfriend. Bizarrely, she seemed to have all of her faculties and despite warnings from the band she remained attentive and glued to Pete’s side. But, all was revealed when Andy rifled through her bag and discovered Pete’s spare incontinence pants and catheter. In desperation, Pete attempted to bribe her with his lump sum pension payout to keep up the pretence she was his girlfriend, but she eventually broke down under intensive interrogation and admitted that she was a geriatric nurse. The good news is that after a very shaky start, Pete has now settled well into Greenacres nursing home and is beginning to make basic shapes with fuzzy felt. Fans will be pleased to learn that despite his great age and numerous infirmities, Pete is allowed out to gigs in the special needs bus under the supervision of one or more carers provided he is kept away from sharp objects. Sue, you are doing a grand job. We just hope you can keep your sweet arse out of the way of the wandering hands of the lecherous old beast, get paid double time and have no sense of smell.

June 2010

Poor diddums

Posted - 2010-06-19

The band would would like to apologise to all their fans (yes, both of them) for having to cancel all the gigs in June and July. This is because Andy, our chief warbler, has been suffering from a nasty throat infection. Despite frequently sucking on a Fisherman's Friend (and so making the fisherman rather jealous), Andy has been advised by the doc to give his voice, and our ears, a break. What has really gratified Andy in his time of trouble is the support from his fellow musicians. Elton John, George Michael and the Pet Shop Boys have all been on the blower. Some have also phoned him. Apparently, all Andy has to do is swallow their special medicine and everything will be fine. Andy is overcum by their spontaneous outpouring. Laryngitis? That's quite a mouthful.

May 2010

Spring

Posted - 2010-05-11

Bass player Pete has been suffering from a long dry spell since last summer, so he was taken by surprise on Sunday when a young lady offered to handle his hose for him. She had carried out her first spring prune of her bush and was looking for someone to fertilise her lady garden. But Pete had no interest in pricking out the young seedling, as he has his eye on a more mature specimen. We suggest that if you really want to go down that garden path, Pete, you get a good handful of bone meal to put in the hole to ensure that her particular bush is kept moist and well fed. Tip of the day - ensure your daffodil doesn't rear its head too soon in the Spring while there is still a risk of frost.

Snookered

Posted - 2010-05-09

Andy really enjoyed the World Snooker Championships recently. If only he were any good at actually playing it, especially doubles. Despite his smooth cueing action and a firm grip on his wood, every time he screws back for the pink, he ends up snookered behind the brown. Maria says if he can't line up his balls better, she is going to have to find a new partner, preferably one who can slot it straight into the middle pocket without touching the sides. Hmmm, could be a sticky one, especially if he shoots prematurely and fails to control the white. Maybe Andy should stick to what he's good at - pocket billiards.

March 2010

Slainte!

Posted - 2010-03-18

That's Irish for "cheers", dontcha know? Well, Matt didn't, but he's (almost) a drummer, so it's only to be expected. (He also thinks that Ceilidh is what chavs call their daughters.) Last night saw the band rock the joint at the St Patrick's Day shindig at O'Neill's. A full house of over 350 punters got the sharp end of over two hours of rather fine rock'n'roll, including a raft of Irish songs that the band learned especially for the occasion. The boys did considerable damage to Winchester's supplies of Guinness after they finished playing, before staggering off into the night singing Molly Malone and The Irish Rover. To quote the late, great Phil Lynott - "Have any of you girls got any Irish in you? No? Would you like some?"

February 2010

Be careful what you wish for

Posted - 2010-02-22

Our illustrious would be singer, Andy, has a habit of changing the words to the odd song. Last Friday, at O'Neill's in sunny Winch, he changed "Get your rocks off" to "Get your tits out", as is his wont. And guess what? One obliging lady did. Gawd bless you, madam - you made an old man feel very happy. Unlike our Maria, who makes happy men feel very old.

£4 grand for charity

Posted - 2010-02-22

Diligent readers of our gig list will have noticed that we played at the Cancer Charity weekend at O'Neill's on 30 January. The good news just in is that we helped to raise around £4,000 for Wessex Cancer and Naomi House Children's Hospice. Fully £20 of that was raised when Pete sponsored Andy on the Sunday to sing a bloody awful Ronan Keating song. The unholy evidence would have been available for your delight and delectation on Youtube by now, but for the fact that Andy paid £3980 to have the tapes destroyed. Joking aside, it was our pleasure to have helped such a worthy cause. Our thanks, as ever, go to Ursula and all the gang at O'Neill's and to Tony of Wardance for running the PA.

Andy has been cloned

Posted - 2010-02-19

The band would like to extend its sincere apologies to anyone of a nervous disposition who watched the local TV news, BBC South, last night at about 6.40pm. Some fat twat who bore a distressing resemblance to our very own fat twat of a singer, was being interviewed about his place of work (not that he actually does any work, in between posing in the toilet mirror and bribing complete strangers to become his "friends" on Facebook). Apparently the company makes hovercraft. All Andy heard at the interview 18 years ago was "blow job". He's been waiting forlornly ever since. Anyway, the cloning process is obviously far from perfect, as the bloke being interviewed got all the right words in the right order. So it couldn't have been our singer after all, could it?

Mr Adams

Posted - 2010-02-17

Does anyone like Bryan Adams????????????????????????Shunt Bucket.

Answer

Posted - 2010-02-17

No, he's a cock smoker. So his Summer of 69 song should be retitled "Summer of 69, what a shit song" Me thinks.

Warts

Posted - 2010-02-09

It would appear we are getting a following of the blog.....And wench-some too. Day break comes I'm on my stool, in one hand I have my tool, in the other I have a tit, by Christ I hate this farming shit.... I do believe the guitarist is getting off lightly with the abuse and insults, guess that's because mother nature has had a poke and we can never insult him quite as badly as that large lady can.....That's mother nature, Maria, not you... Ah ha ha.

January 2010

Knob Trotting

Posted - 2010-01-22

Well, it seems as though we have disappointed our readers! So, Maria, my dear, for spoiling your Monday, we are truly sorry. For being a bunch of knob trotting grunge munging, knobs out rockin' dudes of the highest order, we are not. So if it's trading you want - insults or otherwise just come spend some time with the boys from Gasoline Alley. It doesn't take long. We once exchanged pleasantries for about 30 seconds but that was a world record. Next stop Winchester and back to O'Neill's on Sat 30th Jan for the annual cancer charity gig. A worthy cause for which we offer our services for free - and that includes the music ;-) That takes care of the afternoon, then on in the evening to Christchurch where we can be seen pumping and grinding out those banging rock tooons with added guitarz in The Dukes. Are any of you man enough for both gigs? Or more to the point, are you Woman enough to take the whole band twice in the same day!!!! "Stripper girl, heaven sent, pay my phone bill, pay my rent"

December 2009

O Neils

Posted - 2009-12-18

Back at O Neil's Bournemouth this Saturday, fan*******tastic great gig there last time. lets hope the students are there again this time.....(.)\m/(.)

November 2009

Sanchez

Posted - 2009-11-23

Pete likes the bum and has a dirty sanchez too..........\m/ Chocolate

The Brook, Southampton

Posted - 2009-11-17

Last night saw us playing the Brook once agian. It was great to be back there in particular to help support the worthy cause of this charity event to raise money for the St. Thomas Hospice who provide vital care for cancer sufferers. We had a great night and would like to thank all of you who came along to support us and to all those who were there supporting the charity event. Thanks to Tony and the guys from Jukehouse for inviting us along to share the evening with them. Thanks to all at the Brook for making us welcome and looking after us. Next sees us back at the White Swan in Winchester. Look forward to seeing you there!

What are BLOGs for?

Posted - 2009-11-03

Now that we have a BLOG it's great to see that the guys can use it to trade insults publicly in front of a wider audience than can be found whilst on stage. God invented man, man invented technology, man immediately began to abuse said technology! And that's just the way things should be ;-)

In my defence

Posted - 2009-11-01

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. What the singer has failed to mention is that the real reason he gets a whiff of the brown stuff every time he inhales is that instead of behaving like a proper rock god and disappearing to the khazi for a couple of lines of Colombia's finest just before we go onstage, he goes to said stalls for a spot of light rimming with the drummer. And you thought that that brown mark on his top lip was a coffee stain...

October 2009

Back At The Old Mill

Posted - 2009-10-30

Many thanks to those of you who came to see us at the Old Mill, Holbury on Friday. The crew at the pub were as welcoming as always. Those of you who were there early enough may have noticed some strange noises emitting from the stage. That was down to Pete's new front end gizmo (as opposed to his usual back end gizmo!). Technology can be a marvelous thing when it does what you want it to - in this case it did not, so it got switched off. Something for another day perhaps. We had a fun time watching the beautiful people of Holbury dance to some rockin' tunes. We'll see you all again soon.

Fart Pants

Posted - 2009-10-22

Not sure If any of you dudes have noticed, but every now and then our usual cheerful facial expressions turn to the sort of expression you'd expect to see after buying a really juicy premium quality hot dog with mustard, then realising after the first bite that some squid lipped little chav has taken the sausage (probably eaten it his self) and replaced it with a dog shit....This is what sharing a stage with Pete, our bassist, is like. You take a good lung full of air, so you can hit the high notes, and it smells like someone has taken a crap up your nose. This is because Pete has a liking for things like lentil soup, spinach soup and gaseous delights such as mung bean and sprout puree. In summarising, he's a smelly shit bag, but you gotta love him.

O' Neill's Bournemouth & Winchester

Posted - 2009-10-17

Rockin gig Saturday night and Friday. As usual everyone who turned up to watch us guys completely made the evening, so thanks a lot for your support. If you were there and you're reading this, take a bow, you have earned it. If I trod on anyone or spilled their pint whilst running about the place, I'm sorry, but I am a fat bastard..... \m/(0)\m/

Matts Gay

Posted - 2009-10-15

Matt has finally come out of the closet and now agrees with the rest of the band that he likes a bit of bum.......... And enjoys a burger in the bun, but please no mayonnaise!!!!!!!!!

The Worthies Club

Posted - 2009-10-03

Thanks to all at the Worthies Club for a very warm reception. What a great bunch of folks. Brilliant gig, can't wait to get back there in November! Look forward to seeing you there when we're back! Check out the gigs page to see the dates.

September 2009

The Halfway Inn, Chandlers Ford

Posted - 2009-09-27

Last night saw us back at the Halfway Inn, Chandlers Ford. A local gig for the band so a welcome break from long distance travelling! Great fun and a good crowd - thanks to those of you who came to see us specially! There were a few "lively" regulars in the pub too, including one young t*at who decided to join us in the limelight and talk bo***cks into the microphone for a while! Stormin' night. Next stop the Worthies Club, Kings Worthy on 3rd October - check out the gigs page for details. Jon

Back at the White Swan

Posted - 2009-09-25

Friday saw us back at the White Swan in Winchester. As always there were some characters in the audience. Despite Andy having a sore throat (bless) we managed to rick the place up in usual style. Should be back at the White Swan soon if you'd like to come and see us again. Watch out for that on the gigs page. Jon.

So long ED.

Posted - 2009-09-24

ED has now left the service of Gasoline Alley after dutifully adding to the band news over the years. Thanks for all your help ED! From now on the news section will be kept up to date by the guys in the band - so prepare yourselves, you have been warned! The content will doubtless get a little racier......

What A Year So Far!

Posted - 2009-09-15

The band have had an awesome year so far. In fact there's been so many gigs, weddings, parties and festivals that your poor ED hasn't had a chance to sit down and write up any news. Gasoline Alley have played lots of new venues this year most of which they have thoroughly enjoyed! They've met a great many wonderful audience members who are hopefully now loyal fans ;-). The band have been well received throughout and enjoyed a great many warm compliments from the audience. Always nice when the boys get the feedback they deserve! Can't stop now - the boys are still hard at it with plenty of gigs for the rest of the year. I'll try and keep the band news more up to date for you. - ED

February 2009

Another Great Weekend

Posted - 2009-02-03

The Gasalley boys made their debut at the Rydal Arms in New Milton on Saturday, and once again had the crowd up and bopping from the very first song. Despite blowing up part of the PA system (turn that bloody bass down, Pete), they were not only offered a return gig at the Rydal, but also received an invitation to play at the open air Great Dorset Steam Fair in September in front of 7000 people. On Sunday, the boys were invited to be the closing act at the 48 hour charity music marathon gig at O'Neill's in Winchester. The band gave their services for free (as did all the other bands appearing over the weekend) until past midnight and helped to raise over £5000 in aid of three very deserving cancer charities. The band would like to thank Ursula and Warren at O'Neill's for organising such a worthwhile event, and also Tony from Wardance (www.wardance.co.uk) who provided the PA and backline and ran the sound system for the whole weekend with great skill, patience and good humour.

January 2009

The Lost Weekend

Posted - 2009-01-27

The boys have been a bit busy. There's no recession in our Alley, with the band having four gigs in one weekend! Friday saw a welcome return to the Grange Hotel in Southbourne. The band had the capacity crowd up and dancing from the second song to the very end. The bar staff said we were the best band to play there in ages and told the landlord to pay us more next time. Bloody good idea, we say. Saturday saw a return trip to the Manor Arms in Burton, where even the bikers got in on the act with some marvellously dodgy backing vocal contributions from one rather inebriated lady biker. She was bigger than the Gasoline Alley boys, so they didn't argue. Sunday saw the boys play two gigs in one day for the first time, the first being our debut on the afternoon shift at The Swan in Woolston, Southampton's premier rock pub. The band closed a storming three set show with a full on version of their latest ditty, Whiskey in the Jar. Despite the crowd yelling for a full five minutes for an encore, we could not oblige because they were off to China Villa, a restaurant in Chandler's Ford, for the evening shift to help them see in the year of the Ox (Pete thought it was a tribute night for John Entwistle). The band weren't sure what to expect, and the playing area turned out to be the size of a postage stamp, so they left half the gear in the cars. As people were still eating during the first set, the band tiptoed through their quieter (this being a relative term) numbers, with the hilarious sight of speed metal Gothmeister Matt trying to play the drums sotto voce for the first time in his life. What started as an evening of lounge music ended up with the entire crew of diners and staff bopping and singing along at the tops of their voices to Metallica and Primal Scream. Highlights were a waiter who was a dead ringer for Gok Wan playing a mean tambourine on Rocks, and the lovely lady who asked if the band knew Copacabana by Barry "Bignose" Manilow. Yes, they do, ma'am, and it's still sh*t. Guess she hadn't seen the Gasoline Alley set list! Think the bar-mitzvah circuit will suit that one better. Oh, and Rosie, Mr. Rosie and the staff were great hosts. The band were looked after very well indeed said that the food was excellent too - thanks, guys. So now the guys are taking the week off to recover, but would very much welcome your support at the Cancer Research charity gig at O'Neill's in Winchester on Sunday 1st Feb. Otherwise why not check the Gigs Page to find out when you next have a chance to see the wonderful, Gasoline Alley. Come and get YOUR fill!

December 2008

Here Comes New Years Eve 2008

Posted - 2008-12-01

Following their rocking performance last New Year's Eve, the boys have been booked again this 31 December at O'Neill's in Winchester, the first band ever to receive the honour of playing two consecutive New Year parties there. The Gasoline Alley boys always have a great time at O'Neill's and look forward to seeing in 2009 with the great staff and audience. And then they'll drink the bar dry! If you can't wait until New Years Eve to see the guys play then why not check the Gigs Page

March 2008

Five to Four

Posted - 2008-03-15

And then there were four! Gasoline Alley are now a four piece following the departure of founder member John Dunn to concentrate on writing and producing his own songs. We all wish John well in his new musical ventures and would like to thank him for his commitment in establishing the band over the last two years. Andy will now play rhythm guitar on some songs, leaving Jon Short to noodle away to his heart's delight on all the lead parts. The new look Gasoline Alley will soon be at a venue near you, so keep an eye on the Gigs Page.

February 2008

The Brook Southampton

Posted - 2008-02-12

Long time since the last post. Gasoline Alley had a great end to 2007 with stacks of gigs all over the place including 7 in December alone! The last gig of the year was New Years Eve at O'Neils in Winchester. Thanks to all the staff for making the guys so welcome. What a great night. The boys have played several great shows this year so far including supporting The Bon Jovi Experience at the Brook in Southampton. What a night that was. Playing to a capacity 600 crowd the Gasoline Alley got a rapturous reception and really warmed the audience up for the main act! Check out the Gigs Page to see where you can get a chance to catch the guys in action. You won't be disappointed, that's for sure. - Ed

September 2007

August & September

Posted - 2007-09-30

Well, what a couple of months it has been. Gasoline Alley have been real busy keeping the punters of Hampshire and Dorset pubs entertained. The boys have been rockin' away at: The New Queens Head, Winchester - twice The Knights Cross, North Baddesley - twice IBM Hursley Club, Hursley The Inn on the furlong, Ringwod & The George Hotel, Poole The crowds have really enjoyed the unique atmosphere the boys seem to so easily create every time they play. This is not your "run of the mill" pub covers band! But don't take our word for it - go see them yourselves. Check out the Gigs Page to see where you can get a chance to catch the guys in action. You won't be disappointed, that's for sure. - Ed

July 2007

The Lord Nelson - Poole Quay

Posted - 2007-07-01

Gasoline Alley were seen whooping up a storm of great rock at the Lord Nelson, Poole quay on Friday 29th June. What a great gig. They guys were certainly on form and the audience were great. A good night was had by all present. Lets hope there will be a repeat performance soon! Hopefully there will be some pics of the gig up on the site soon. Keep checking the Gigs section or if you like why not sign up for GIGAlert (see the front page for more details). - Ed

May 2007

Gasoline Alley Line Up Changes

Posted - 2007-05-20

Eds been quiet for some time. Sorry about that! lots of stuff has been going on with the band - to cut a long story short there has been a change in line up. The singer / keyboard player has left the fold and Gasoline Alley has been joined by Andy Osman on lead vocals. Welcome on board to Andy. Gasoline Alley are very much looking forward to the future and getting on the road again. - Ed

November 2006

The Lord Palmerston

Posted - 2006-11-25

Gasoline Alley played live at The Lord Palmerston, Southampton on Friday 24th November 2006. A stormin' show! Three new tracks were unveiled increasing the length of the set by a good 10 minutes. The crowd were very appreciative as usual. Some regular faces were there showing that the band is already building a fan base! Next stop is The Old Fat Cat in Southamptom on Tuesday 19th December. Check out the Gigs Page for details. - Ed

The Dorchester Arms

Posted - 2006-11-06

The Gasoline Alley boys could be seen over the weekend strutting their stuff on the stage at The Dorchester Arms, Southampton. The show lasted for about an hour and was well received. The guys are very much looking forward to the next gig, also in Southampton at The Lord Palmerston. Check out the Gigs Page for details. - Ed

October 2006

The Gasoline Alley Boys Are Back In The Saddle

Posted - 2006-10-27

Stop Press! Gasoline Alley have the next gig booked at the Dorchester Arms, Southampton on Friday November 3rd. See the gigs page for details. Hope you can come along and see us! - Ed

Gigging Soon?

Posted - 2006-10-10

Since the Talking Heads gig the band have been rehearsing at a "studio" in Bitterne (we like to call it the shed). The act has been polished to "perfection" (hmm) now and we are in the process of booking some gigs, hopefully at your favourie venue. - Ed

Live At Talking Heads

Posted - 2006-10-09

The band's debut gig was at Talking Heads in Portswood, Southampton in May 2006. In fact it was this gig that the band formed for during an event sponsored by Sound Control music stores in Southampton. Once again the Gasoline Alley boys would like to extend a warm thanks to the guys at Sound Control for giving us the opportunity to get together and play some great music. Why not check out some pictures or take a look at a few video clips from the show in the Video Clips section of this web site. - Ed